The Catbird Seat

Years ago, ladies wore slips. Slips are generally made of a delicate lacy material, and are intended to (a) help maintain the fluidity and motion of a dress, (b) skim the body to prevent a dress from unseemly bunching or clinging, and (c) prevent anyone from seeing the outline of a woman’s body through her dress, particularly if it was made of lightweight or relatively sheer fabric. Slips were considered a necessary undergarment for ladies wearing a dress or a skirt.

Just like most undergarments that women wear, slips tend to not want to stay put. As a result, sometimes slips peeked out underneath the hem of a dress or skirt. When this occurred, it was considered socially indelicate, and quite embarrassing to the wearer. One never wanted to hear this phrase,

“Excuse me, ma’am? Your slip is showing.”

So what do ladies’ slips and my insecurity have to do with one another? Well, I think slips and insecurity are actually pretty similar (at least back when women wore slips all the time).

1. A large percentage of the population have slips (even if they’re not often worn). Same for insecurity.
2. Slips aren’t intentionally worn on the outside (typically). Likewise, insecurity.
3. It’s embarrassing to find out one’s slip is showing. So also for one’s insecurity.
4. Some people will go to great lengths to prevent their slip from being noticed. Ditto insecurity.

5. If you want to be sophisticated, you definitely have a slip, but you never show it. One could make a pretty convincing case for insecurity as well, I think.

Which brings me to a recent exchange I had with a very close friend. The two of us and another friend were having dinner at a local restaurant, discussing the fact that my husband had urged me to call these friends to get help with Jane and Elizabeth that night. At which point I said, “Like you don’t have better things to do than come over to my house on a Wednesday night and hang out with me and take care of my kids!” This is the conversation that followed:

“Excuse me, Ma’am?”
>”Yes?”
“Your insecurity is showing.”
>Really? Where? Front or back?
“All the way around, actually.”
>”Oh dear.”

Okay, that’s not exactly how it went. It was more like this,

“Wow. There’s a lot of insecurity behind that statement.”
>(no response from me except for the combination deer-in-the-headlights and I’ve-been-busted look on my face. I don’t think I even moved. )
“You ought to see the look on your face! (He then demonstrates the look, with my other friend nodding in agreement at the impression)”
>Really? (I start laughing, but thinking, “Is it really that obvious?”)
“Yeah.” (laughing)

Fortunately, my friend loves me and so his comment wasn’t shaming in any way. He knows that I want to know myself better and desire to face (and even conquer) some of the yucky stuff that’s hidden away from most people. He also happens to be in the Counseling program at RTS, so he’s exceptionally good at seeing that stuff and bringing it to my attention. So, it wasn’t surprising or even disconcerting in any way. Honestly, though, it was a tad embarrassing. I think what made it embarrassing was that it was just so true. My words had revealed my heart. They often do.

I’ve decided I don’t like slips all that much. It’s just one more thing to have to worry about keeping in its place. Plus, I’ve got enough underwear as it is. Who really needs a slip nowadays, anway?

Filed under: General, Catbird, Random Thoughts on January 28th, 2006