The Catbird Seat

I worked a 2-10pm shift today. It followed an 8am-4pm shift yesterday. That one followed another 2-10pm shift on Wednesday. And another one the day before that.

I have awakened every single morning this week with the light- and sound-sensitivity of a severe migraine. It is only by the grace of God that the behind-the-eye-splitting, blinding (literally) headaches that generally accompany my migraines haven’t occurred. Only a dull ache behind one eye.

Yesterday I filled prescriptions wearing Jackie O-esque sunglasses. People looked at me funny. I kept telling myself, “At least you made it to work.”

And I did. All day.

Today, after a few hours filling prescriptions in my crazy-busy new store, I found myself accepting prescriptions at the “In” window. I love it, except it’s hard to do all that’s required there (enter prescriptions, greet people, answer the phones, etc.) and also do the things that I need to do (solve problems, review prescriptions, etc.) at the same time. I felt overwhelmed and tired.

I wanted to go home.

And then, a wonderful gentleman came to the window. He was tall (over 6′3”), dark-skinned, and had a kind face. He was wearing the uniform of a security company.

I let my guard down instantly.

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

KM (Kind Man): “Fine, thank you. How are you?”

Me(completely, and probably inappropriately, honest): “I’m hanging by a very thin thread.” (weak smile.)

KM (without missing a beat, and completely present, emotionally): “It’s the strongest there is. (He paused. I blinked.) That thread. It’ll hold you.” (warm smile.)

[imagine the sound of my heart beating in my throat]

Me (weakly): “I really hope so. I’ve been here a while.”

KM (confidently): “It will. There’s nothing stronger than that thin thread. It’s the best one. You’ll see.”

It took all I had not to cry.

I wanted to tell him how much I’m struggling right now, and that it was humbling and amazing to me that I was able to even be standing there filling his prescription. I wanted to tell him how tired I was, and how I really just wanted to go home and be with my family.

I didn’t.

I just looked at him through my world-weary eyes and said, with all the gratitude I could muster, “How can I help you today?”

And as he looked at me with his kind face, his wide smile, and his eyes full of compassion, I realized something.

He was right.

He knew, because he has been there, holding on to that thread.

So have I, many times before.

And though I’m there right now, he isn’t.

So that makes him qualified to remind me that it’s one strong thread.

(Sigh.)

As for the very thin one…well, it’s the strongest one there is, isn’t it?

[And in case you’ve noticed that I categorized this as “Conversations with God”, I think that might’ve just been The Counselor Himself standing there at my In-window.]

Filed under: General, Catbird, Conversations with God, Random Thoughts on March 10th, 2007