The Catbird Seat

There are a lot of things that one expects to find at the Salvation Army Thrift Store.

Cheap clothes.

Costume jewelry or other outdated fashion acoutrements.

People like this.

Junk.

Bargains. (sometimes.)

But I never expected for find comfort there. Three ways, in fact.

The first is shallow and materialistic, but comfort for my wardrobe and budget. I found two pair of really cute, good-fitting jeans for $5 apiece. $5! And they weren’t hole-y or stained or style-outdated!

They were jeans that I needed, since I only had one pair that was presentable to wear in mixed company. Now I have 3. And the two new ones are lighter weight (for Spring), look good on (I think. Paul agrees), and really comfortable (the most important feature in blue jeans, in my opinion.)

Ridiculous, I know. But it was an installment in bettering my wardrobe in a way that didn’t succumb to the desire to buy new, expensive blue jeans at a designer boutique that people around here would notice and think, “Oh, cute jeans! I bet she got those at so-and-so…”

You know, that deadly combination of materialism and trying to gain others’ approval. The second being the more powerful temptation for me.

The second comfort measure I found at the Thrift Store was my sister’s mother-in-law. I was headed toward the dressing room with probably 10 pairs of jeans to try on, a VERY fussy Elizabeth in the buggy, and a VERY fidgety Jane wanting to get down and explore when I (almost) ran into Janet and Terry.

I don’t know why, but I was floored to see them there. And embarrassed at the circus of tired mom/unruly kids/full shopping cart that we were.

Nana (what my sister calls Janet) was so delighted to see us, I completely forgot my embarrassment. She exuded such warmth and acceptance that I stopped worrying if my children were disturbing others and just let her comfort me.

And she did. And here’s how: she laughed at my girls. She talked to them like she was genuinely interested in them (which, of course, she was.) And she was completely unbothered by the chatty Jane who talked right on top of us, and the irrepressible Elizabeth who was determined to make her misery at the Thrift Store known to all.

I think she just appreciated their two unique personalities…in all their glory. It was such a comfort to this mother’s soul.

The last and final comfort I found was a complete stranger.

I had moved on from jean-shopping to kids’ clothes shopping, and had let Jane get down and walk beside me. Elizabeth had managed to find her own place of comfort, and was sitting contentedly in the buggy, reaching out periodically to feel the clothes we passed along the aisles.

Jane at that point started to get restless. And restlessness and Jane is a recipe for trouble. She began to wander.

“Jane, stay with Mommy.” A few minutes passed. “Jane, don’t sit on that. It’s a cabinet, not a chair.” Few more minutes passed. “Jane, stay where I can see you.” And finally, “Jane, if I tell you again, you’re getting a time-out.” (Which actually should have happened after the first comment, but oh well.)

“I’m mad” A minute or two later, “Mommy, I’m MAD!”

“Well, it’s okay for you to be mad. It’s not okay for you to not do what Mommy said. You still have to obey Mommy even when you’re mad.”

A pleasant-looking woman across the aisle, but facing me, was watching the whole exchange.

“How old is she?…about 3 and a half or so?”

“You got it! How did you know?”

“I’ve worked with 3 and 4 year olds for many years now. It’s a great age, but it’s hard because they have this newfound independence and the voice to articulate it. It’s hard to know what to do with their desire for autonomy.”

I sighed and chuckled. “You’ve got that right.”

She laughed, watching Jane, and then turned to me again and said, “You’re doing great with them.”

“Thank you so much”, I said. I meant it.

Then she asked about me. Did I work? What did my husband do? Had I been in Birmingham long? etc.

When I explained our situation, she teared up. Turns out her husband is a minister as well, and so she had particular compassion to where we are right now.

“Been there. Done that. Got a T-shirt. Sold it in a garage sale!” She said, and laughed.

“I’m ready to sell mine [the T-shirt], but apparently I’m still supposed to be wearing it.” I laughed.

Then she asked if we have a church, and told me she would love to have us visit at their congregation, Shades Valley Community Church. She told me we’d find rest and worship.

Turns out we did. Today we visit the second time.

Southern Comfort at the Thrift Store. (And no, not the alcoholic variety.) Who would’ve thought?!

…did I mention my really cute jeans? (grin.)

Filed under: General, Catbird, Local Color, Random Thoughts on April 1st, 2007