The Catbird Seat

Last night, as Paul and I were riding back from Sylacauga with our pastor, the subject of marriage came up in conversation.

The conversation began in a lively discussion about the transition from “taker” to “giver AND taker” that children should begin to make when they enter (and graduate from) adolescence. Fitting that it should end in a conversation of the beauty and perils of marriage.

John, our pastor, made an compelling argument that many of the problems in marriages (particularly early on) really stem from most couples apparent inability to truly live by the Genesis 2:24 direction to “leave your mother and father, and cleave to your spouse” [my paraphrase; exact quote (KJV) found here]. Our ties to our families often impede our faithful commitment to our spouses.

The example that John gave was one of a new wife who would “run back to her mother” anytime there was difficulty between she and her new husband. So, instead of working through the issues that needed addressing in her marriage, she retreated back home to the comfort of her mother. On the heels of that description, some reference was made to the cliche of the prying mother-in-law.

To which Paul remarked, “I don’t have a mother-in-law.” (and then…) “Never have.”

(insert dead silence in car here) Talk about a conversation killer.

I smiled.

I guess I had just never thought of it that way.

My mother died just over a year before we were married. Not even in the wedding planning process had Paul had to deal with impending mother-in-law-ness.

And so, sitting in the car with a goofy look on my face, and now as I write this, I just think, “What a gift.”

Sometimes the silver-lining comes in the smallest (and most unlikely) ways.

And, as Paul said later that night, “God is in the minutia.”

Indeed.

Filed under: Catbird, Like a fire, Random Thoughts on September 30th, 2007